Is there anybody there? I'm about to restart this blog!

Many nights of passion come to an end

Apart from the two week holiday over Christmas and New Year, CN and I have spent one or two nights a week together almost every week since November last year.

Usually we met in the West End of London. We went to a different restaurant almost every time. We both enjoy good food and wine, and we sampled foods from various countries and cultures. If time allowed we might call into a pub, or go back to my hotel and have a drink in the bar. Then we would spend the night together in my hotel room.

Once inside the room it wouldn't be long before we were both naked. Quite often CN would undress as soon as we entered the room. I think she knew that I found her tall, slim, dark brown body totally irresistible. Sometimes we would shower together (on one occasion we fucked in the shower and she climaxed almost immediately). Sometimes we would share a bath (once I had a hotel room with a large spa bath!). Sometimes we wanted each other so much that we would just strip off and jump onto the bed. Every time we met, the sex was wonderful.

As well as good sex, we had a lot of fun together. CN has a great sense of humour and I loved to see her laughing and smiling. We always felt very comfortable in each others' company.

However, we both knew it would have to stop. I will retire from work this summer and will no longer travel to London. CN knew that I am married and that our relationship could never become permanent. Ideally she wants to meet a single man who can take care of her and her daughters.

But it has come to an end sooner than we expected. I am not going into detail, but a breakdown in communications between us led to a very serious situation that potentially could have wrecked my marriage. I decided that my life had got too complicated and that my relationship with CN had to end.

We still exchange text messages from time to time, but I don't think we will ever meet again. I will remember many happy times with CN and she has told me that she has happy memories as well.

A very hot morning

My African friend CN is thinking about taking over an existing catering business and giving it an African theme. She asked me what I thought and if I would help her with the business plan. Some years ago CN ran a restaurant in Africa and she has the vision of what she wants to create.

We agreed to meet at her home one morning this week as my workload is fairly light at the moment. We spent a few minutes looking through the paperwork and talked about the start up costs. CN was wearing a thin top and very short shorts. Her long black legs looked incredible. Inevitably our minds soon turned to pleasure and the kissing started. CN suggested that we move to her bedroom.

One very refreshing aspect about CN is her directness. There is no ambiguity about what she wants and when she wants it. As soon as we got into her bedroom, she started to undress and reached for the massage oil. Within seconds we were both naked and I was already erect.

CN lay face down on the bed and I massaged her back. She really enjoys firm massage on her shoulders and back. I also massaged her arms and hands, and later moved to her lower back and thighs. At this point she turned over. I gently massaged her breasts, and started teasing her nipples. Gradually I worked my way down her body, applying plenty of oil so that my hands slid easily over her smooth black skin. I massaged her stomach, feet, legs, and inner thighs, but carefully avoided any direct contact with her shaven pussy. I could tell what she wanted by the way she opened her legs and thrust her hips towards my face.

I planted a kiss on her moist pussy lips and used my tongue to explore her folds. I could tell that she was very wet so I placed one, and then two fingers, inside her pussy. I stroked her G spot while licking and sucking around her lips and clitoral area. Some of you will remember that CN does not have a clitoris. It was removed when she was 11 years old, in Africa. As her excitement started rising, she took hold of my cock and guided towards her soaking pussy. I slid inside her with such ease and I could feel her warm flesh opening up for me. We fucked with passion and CN rubbed her clitoral area against me. It wasn't long before she shrieked with climax.

Next, CN decided to massage me. I lay on my back and she applied oil to my skin. I really enjoyed the sensation of her firm hands pressing and moving over my body. When I turned over, she copied my approach and carefully avoided touching my cock. But soon the temptation became too great for both of us. Once again my cock slipped inside her and we fucked with her on top.

When CN said she was tired, she lay next to me and we hugged and kissed for a while. But she knew that I had not yet cum and that our love making was not yet complete. It wasn't long before my mouth was at her lovely pussy once more, making her wetter than ever. My cock slipped inside her. This time the action was fast and furious, and it wasn't long before I could hold back no longer. I shot my hot cum deep inside her.

We took a shower together and got dressed before going out to lunch at a nearby Indian restaurant. A hot conclusion to a very hot morning!

Celebration Text Message

Within hours of Obama's election victory the text messages started. Who are the clever people who think of them?

Black women all over the world are shaving their pubic hairs today in support of Obama's victory. Their message to the world is:

"READ OUR LIPS ...... NO MORE BUSH"!

Another Night with CN

A couple of weeks ago, CN and I met up late one afternoon in the West End of London. She had hinted that she would like some new underwear and since I had missed her birthday I suggested that I would buy the underwear as a delayed birthday present.

We went to a very small and up-market boutique that sells expensive sexy underwear. CN really liked what she saw. She soon disappeared into the changing room, but it wasn't long before she asked me to join her to take a look at her wearing the items. We did this a few times, adding to the interest of the shop assistant. Eventually we settled on a bra and pantie set, which more than made up in price what it lacked in material!

It was just a short walk from the boutique to Covent Garden where we settled into a restaurant. Both CN and I enjoy red wine in large quantities and I'm very glad we were taking the tube and not driving. The meal was very enjoyable and nothing was too much trouble for the restaurant staff. We left the restaurant feeling very mellow.

When we reached the hotel we went straight to the bedroom. CN is an excellent kisser and soon we were naked and on the bed. As we fucked she kept saying "I love it, I love it"!

Eventually we decided to get a drink in the bar before getting into bed for the night. CN was wearing a short skirt with opaque tights, but she felt there was no need to put the tights back on inside the hotel. There was a group of about eight businessmen in the bar, and it was quite amusing to watch their faces as CN and I walked in. I am almost six feet tall and CN is the same height. She has long arms and long legs. I think the sight of a very tall slim African woman, showing a fair amount of black thigh proved irresistible to those men. It made me feel very sexy!

After a couple more drinks we returned to the bedroom. We spent the night together. I don't need to spell out every detail. Suffice to say we didn't get much sleep.....

In anticipation.....

Over the last few weeks I have exchanged many texts with CN. We had hoped to meet about two weeks ago but our meeting had to be delayed. We have arranged to meet next week and spend a night together.

This photo is a taste of what I will be enjoying......

CN and I really enjoy having sex together and we both would prefer unprotected sex. She is very careful about her body and I had concerns as she is from Africa. So we have both had tests for sexual health (STDs and HIV). We got tested separately (at confidential private clinics) and e-mailed our results to each other. I'm pleased to say that we are both totally clean.

We are looking forward to our next night together. I'll keep you posted........

I'm back and ready to blog!

It's about three weeks since I came back from holiday, and I've decided to continue blogging.

I have met CN a couple of times recently just for a drink. We have talked a lot about my marriage and the circumstances that led me to ending our relationship. We both agreed that the sex between us was really good and that we enjoy each others' company. On that basis, we plan to spend an evening or a night together quite soon. Watch this space!

Holiday

I'm going on holiday tomorrow, returning in about 3 weeks......

2nd Birthday

Next week will see the second anniversary of this blog. It's been fun and I have found it a useful way of expressing and understanding my feelings. However, I am seriously considering closing it down.

An Indoor Picnic

About a week after my outing with "A", I arranged to meet up with MS. I mentioned in a recent post that after many dates and much kissing, MS said she wanted us to have sex. She did explain that she was feeling rather nervous. MS is a married woman in her early 50s. She only stays with her husband because of her son, and is rather scared of the prospect of living alone. MS has not had sex for some years and was rather worried that she had "closed up" for ever!

On the day we agreed to meet, MS left work early and went to a local supermarket to buy the items for our picnic including a bottle of sparkling wine. That afternoon there was torrential rain in London. I got soaked returning to my hotel and immediately had a shower. MS met me in the bar of my hotel and she was pretty wet as well. We had a drink in the bar and she asked if she could have a shower in my room.

Once inside my hotel room, I unpacked the shopping and set out the food and drink on the table and desk, while MS went into the bathroom for a shower. A few minutes later she emerged in a towel. We kissed and MS suggested I remove my shirt. We sat on the edge of the bed and spent time kissing. It wasn't long before her towel slipped and revealed her naked breast. The first time it happened, MS pulled the towel back up, but the second time it happened, she just let it fall. After more kissing and touching, I undressed until I was just in my pants. Soon her towel was on the floor and MS was wearing only her knickers.

We moved onto the bed and MS took the initiative. She removed my pants and soon had my cock in her hands, and then in her mouth. It wasn't long before I removed her knickers and we were both totally naked. I explored her body with my mouth, and MS wriggled with pleasure when my fingers and tongue started to explore her pussy. It was very clear that she had definitely not "closed up"! In fact, she was leaking juice and made quite a damp patch on the bed.

We did manage to find time to eat the food and drink the wine during our sexy fun. At one point MS said she would like to try an experiment. She filled her mouth with sparkling wine and then placed my cock in her mouth. I liked the sensation of the cold wine on my hard flesh. I then filled my mouth with sparkling wine, and licked her pussy while allowing some of the wine to leak slowly out of my mouth. MS said it made her pussy tingle and feel very warm.

The combination of food, drink and sexy fun continued for a few hours. Eventually MS said she had to leave as she had a long journey home. She had another quick shower and we both got dressed. We both said how much we enjoyed it. Our subsequent exchange of text messages, while she was travelling home, was very explicit. I'm sure MS and I will meet again when we can.

A short break with "A"

About three weeks ago "A" and I spent some time together. We met one afternoon in central London and took the tube to where I had parked my car. We then drove to a country hotel where I had already booked a large double room. The hotel was really lovely, set in its own grounds surrounded by a high wall with security gates. I unpacked quickly. "A" didn't need to unpack as she only brought a toothbrush and a bottle of massage oil!

We had a couple of drinks and a meal in a nearby country pub. It was a very mild evening and we sat outside in the dark for quite a while before returning to the hotel. "A" made it very clear that while she enjoys being in my company, she did not want sex. I responded by saying that I would never force anything onto her. I get turned on knowing that a woman wants me; I get no pleasure from forcing myself onto anyone.

Once we were back in our hotel room, "A" told me to undress so that she could give me a sensual massage, and she removed all of her clothes except her knickers. It was quite obvious that she does not trim her pubic hair as it sprouted out of the sides of her knickers. "A" has given me sensual massages before, but this time she spent much less time on my back and legs, giving much more attention to my cock and balls. Then she invited me to massage her and gave me tuition on the places to apply more pressure and the amount of oil to use. We watched TV for a while and eventually cuddled up and went to sleep. No kisses and no sex!

In the morning we showered together and I did get to see "A" totally naked. She has the hairiest bush I have ever seen! After checking out of the hotel, we drove to a small town and got some breakfast. We spent the rest of the day driving through the countryside and ended up at a very large out of town retail complex where they sell leading brands at reduced prices. "A" bought some clothes for herself.

Later in the afternoon I drove "A" back to a location that was good for her evening appointment. We both enjoyed the time together but I don't think we will do it again. The chemistry wasn't right.

Current Situations

The situation with J from London has improved somewhat. She makes contact more frequently and appears to be emerging from her period of withdrawal. There is still something big on her mind but she's not yet ready to talk about it. It's possible that J hasn't yet got her head around the problem, and therefore is not ready to talk or consider solutions.

Last week I spent an evening with MS who I have not seen for ages. We went for a meal in a London restaurant and then walked to a pub in the West End. The pub was very crowded and our bodies were touching as we talked. I gave her a few very gentle kisses and the conversation turned to the fact that we have met a number of times but never had sex. MS told me that she has been experimenting with how to trim her pubic hair. After a few more little kisses I was wondering if she could feel my erection. MS suggested we walked to another bar and asked me if I would be able to hide the tent in my trousers! We managed to get seats in the next place, and while I gave her little kisses on her face and behind her ears, she rested her hand at the top of my thigh tantalisingly close to my hard cock. She suggested that the next time we meet we should take some food and drink to my hotel room and have a picnic with sex!

The following day I met briefly with CN and later with "A". CN and I had coffee and talked about the times we spent together. She used a tissue two or three times to wipe tears from her eyes. Clearly she misses the great times that we had. CN told me about the man she has been meeting recently. They meet three or four nights each week and he calls her every night at bed time. However, she hadn't heard from him for nearly a week and he has stopped returning her calls.

Later in the day I had lunch with "A" and talked about the idea of going away together.

I could be having a busy time in London over the next few weeks!

The situation with J

Yesterday I decided to tackle J from London about our rapidly deteriorating relationship. We have always said that we should discuss any problems that arise between us. However, it is difficult for her to talk on the phone at the office of the client where she is currently working. Most days we overcome that difficulty by having conversations via e-mail. During our e-mail exchange yesterday.....

I wrote:
I was reflecting on the fact that two weeks ago today we were having a drink, planning ballooning and talking about doing lots of things together. You asked me when I would next be in London and when was I taking you to see Sex and the City…… Two weeks later and our communications have deteriorated considerably. There’s a barrier between us. It will probably get worse if we let it. Do we want it to be this way?........

J replied:
There’s a lot of personal challenging thoughts I have been reviewing over the last 2 weeks – some deeply thought provoking. As far as I know, nothing in life is permanent – even ‘…this way’…

I replied:
There was a time when I might have found that intriguing. Now I’m just finding it difficult. As you say, nothing is permanent (unless we really want it to be).

J replied:
Hopefully, nothing is as difficult as we first imagine…

When I failed to respond, J phoned me. She told me that there is something important on her mind. I told her that I feel she is pushing me away and that is why I reduced the level of communication between us. J assured me that the problem is not about me, and that she will talk to me about it when she is ready. She added that she will not make any decisions until she has talked to me, but if I force her to talk then she may have to make a decision that will not be in the best interests of either of us. I said I would give her time and that she should always bear in mind that there is nothing she can say that will shock me. I added that I have probably already thought of all the possible scenarios. J told me again that she will talk to me when she is ready but that she is concerned about the long term consequences for our relationship.

I resisted saying that as things stand at the moment, we don't have a long term relationship. I retire from work in just over a year and will probably move to another part of the country. Our relationship will end at that point. J is fully aware of my retirement plans but maybe has other ideas.....

Three interesting women

During the last two weeks communication between J from London and myself has reduced considerably. I have told her that I am certain she is holding something back from me regarding her health, and I've told her that if we are ever to get close then nothing can be hidden. She knows she hasn't told me the truth; I know she hasn't told me the truth; and she knows that I know. We haven't spoken for well over a week. Text messages and e-mails are clinical and all references to feelings and emotions have disappeared. It's interesting to note that only two weeks ago we were talking about doing many things together. J wanted to know when I would next be in London and asked me to take her to the cinema. Now we are hardly communicating.

You will recall that I had to end my relationship with CN because she assumed I was separated from my wife. I didn't contradict her and it was becoming clear that she wanted a full time permanent relationship which I couldn't give. Soon after I ended things I sent her an email explaining my true position and apologising for misleading her and hurting her. At first she was very cross and upset, but after a few days she contacted me saying that she forgave me because I treated her so well, adding that the sex between us was the best she had ever experienced. CN has 3 children (all by different fathers) and is a very sexy lady so I'm sure she has had sex with plenty of men over the years. Recently CN told me that she now has a new man in her life that she liked very much but he is hopeless in bed. She is suggesting that we could meet again just for sexy fun!

Last week I met up again with "A" the lady that provides sensual massages. We met early in the evening and had a small meal in an Italian restaurant near my hotel. After eating, we went to my hotel room and I showed her some photos she was interested in, and then she gave me another sensual massage. I think we were both more relaxed and comfortable with each other than on the previous meeting. "A" was much bolder with the massage. While I was lying on my front, she soon had her hands between my thighs, touching and stroking my balls, and reaching under to grip my rapidly hardening cock. After the massage we sat and talked. "A" asked if I would like to go away with her for a few days. I was quite surprised! I asked if we would share a room and share a bed, and "A" replied that she would expect nothing less than sharing a bed. Today we have talked about where and when to go. I will keep you posted.....

Discoveries

I recently discovered that J from London is 5 years older than she originally told me. She was clearly embarrassed when I very gently informed her of my discovery. I made it very clear that it made no difference to me, but I was intrigued to know why she did it. I suspect she was just having fun when she told the little lie, never expecting that we would become so close.

Then last week J told me that she is having regular blood tests. Normally she is very open and honest with me, but when I asked her about the tests she told me very firmly that she wasn't going to talk about it over the phone. I have never known her be so adamant.

What is going on?

A Brief Meeting with J from London

A few days ago, J and I were working at the same location in central London. We were not in the same meetings but we did agree to meet up after work. It could only be a short session as I had to catch a train and my journey home takes about two hours.

We went to a local coffee shop. We talked about the research I had done into finding out about where we could go to have a flight in a hot air balloon, the times of the flights, the amount of time that the whole experience will take, and the cost. We may well go for an early morning flight (probably 6am take off) during the next few weeks, and take the day off work.

We also talked about an out of town shopping complex that sells top brands at much reduced prices. I had found out that the complex contains a branch of her favourite shoe shop. So we may well take a trip out there.

As we were walking to the tube station, J asked when I will next be in London and would I take her to see "Sex and the City". Of course I agreed, adding that I am ugly enough to cope with the fact that 90% of the audience will be female! Hopefully we will agree a date during the next two weeks. We also talked about trying a restaurant that specialises in food from her continent.

When we parted, we kissed and hugged as usual. We were only together for just over an hour but we both felt our emotional batteries had been recharged by meeting.

A Night with Anna Louise

For some months I have been chatting online and exchanging e-mails with a fellow sex blogger Anna Louise. We live too far apart to meet up, but recently Anna Louise went on holiday to a location which I was just about able to reach. I booked a hotel room to stay the night and we agreed to meet.

We met late one afternoon in a quiet location and we immediately recognised each other from photos that we had exchanged by e-mail. I drove us to my hotel and we went straight to the bedroom. It was soon apparent that there was very strong sexual chemistry between us. We kissed - gently at first and gradually the passion grew. During our online chats we had established that we both enjoy kissing very much, so neither of us rushed to move on. We continued kissing for quite a long time, while holding each other tightly. After a while we took off our shoes and Anna removed my shirt. I really love it when a girl starts to undress me. I got very turned on knowing that Anna wanted to have sex with me.

We took off a few more clothes and moved onto the bed. Still lots more kissing but now our hands started to wander over each others' bodies. Slowly but surely other items of clothes were removed, while all the time we kept kissing. Eventually we were down to our underwear. I know my cock was rampant and I'm quite sure Anna was aware of my level of arousal. Some weeks ago Anna posted a photo of herself in underwear on her blog. I'm sure she will be happy if I show that image here so that you can appreciate what I was looking at!

Removing Anna's bra revealed her very generous breasts which I kissed and licked, and teased her nipples with my fingers and tongue. I decided to remove my pants and Anna seemed pleased with what she found inside, and took my hard cock into her mouth.

I teased her further by not rushing to remove her knickers. I pulled the material to one side to reveal her very wet pussy so that my tongue could explore her folds and move around her clit. Anna's knickers were soon on the floor and we were both totally naked.

I wanted to lick and suck Anna's pussy some more but she said she wanted to feel my cock inside her. What man could resist such an invitation? I really enjoyed fucking her and it was clear to me that Anna was having a lot of pleasure.

After a while I moved so that I could put two fingers inside Anna. My fingers stroked her G-spot while my tongue licked and sucked her clit. Her pussy was literally overflowing with her juice and my saliva. Anna returned the pleasure by sucking my cock, which is something I like to watch. I then lay on my back allowing Anna to mount me and take control. I really enjoyed having Anna on top of me. It gave us both freedom of movement, I could see everything, and Anna was able to change her position and angle of penetration to gain maximum pleasure. I'm quite certain that Anna was getting all the pleasure she wanted!

We decided to get dressed and get something to eat. The hotel bar and restaurant was only a short walk from my room. We had a couple of drinks while studying the menu and then moved into the restaurant. Conversation flowed easily. We talked about our families, our jobs, our sex lives, and our experiences as bloggers. After a few drinks and a meal I suggested we returned to the bedroom. Anna didn't argue!

Once inside the bedroom we started kissing again but now with much passion. Soon Anna was undoing the buttons of my shirt and it wasn't long before she stripped me naked while she was still fully dressed. My "excitement" was obvious! Anna quickly undressed and we gave each other some wonderful oral pleasures. Anna discovered that I like my balls to be caressed from behind. We fucked in various positions and continued to explore each others bodies. It was pure lust!

Eventually we cuddled up and fell asleep.

I always wake very early in the morning, usually with an erection, and the next morning was no exception. Anna Louise must be a light sleeper because when I ran my hand down her back, she woke up and turned to face me. There was no need for foreplay. I was erect and Anna was wet, so we pushed back the covers and Anna rode me once more. It wasn't long before I came. The release of my cum was a fabulous sensation after the many hours of sex the night before.

I shaved while Anna drank a cup of tea, and then we shared the shower. We checked out of the hotel and I drove Anna to a place very near where she was staying.

Due to the distances involved it's highly unlikely that Anna Louise and I will ever meet again. But I will never forget the time that we spent together. Anna is a very sexy lady!!

Having saved this post as a draft, I see that Anna has posted her account of our meeting here.

Posing Naked Again

I recently posed naked again for Jackie Adshead, my friend the female erotic artist.

It was good to meet up again with Jackie and her favourite female model. I hadn't seen them since last year. We were soon trying out ideas for poses (fully dressed at this stage). Having chosen a few likely poses, the female model and I got undressed while Jackie set up the lighting and her artist's equipment.

The pose seemed simple enough. I lay on my back on the floor with the female model above me supporting her weight on her hands, which she placed on my chest.

It wasn't long before we discovered that the pose was much harder to hold than first thought. The female model found it difficult to support much of her weight on her wrists, and while Jackie made every effort to keep the room warm it was inevitable that I would get cold lying on the floor.

After a while Jackie stated that she was not all together happy with the image. There are some lovely shapes and curves in the picture, and I love the use of red and black in the image.

The female model was not able to stay very late, and when she left to go home, Jackie continued working on my part of the image for a while. Eventually we stopped work and I got dressed. I know that Jackie feels that the image is "incomplete" and wants to do more work on it.

Jackie and I then shared a bottle of wine and caught up on events. Jackie's account of the session can be found here.

I'm looking forward to seeing the completed image, and posing for Jackie again soon.

Probably fully reconnected

J from London and I appear to have fully reconnected. I have not told you everything that has happened between us over the last few months for fear of tempting fate. After our big argument in January we did reconnect fairly quickly but we both were very aware of the fragility of our friendship.

We soon resumed daily contact. On Valentine's Day I sent her some orchids in a box with a message that included: "I'm so glad I haven't lost you xxx". As soon as she received the flowers she sent me a text saying: "Good morning dear you. Guess who's my Valentine this year. How could you lose me? You're the finer parts of me! xx". Since then, we made sure we connect every day no matter where we are. Sometimes it is just a text message or two, sometimes it is long telephone conversations, sometimes a "conversation" by e-mail while at work, sometimes a brief meeting.

Then about two weeks ago J mentioned that she was going out for a social evening with some of the people she works with. She wasn't keen on the activity they had chosen, and mentioned that she would love to try Go-Karting! I said I would be delighted to take her karting. It was agreed that I would do some research, find a track near where she lives, and make all the arrangements.

One day last week we both took an afternoon off work. I picked her up from the office of her current client and drove to the karting track. It is one of the best in the UK. The track is twice as long as most tracks, and they have twin engined karts with a maximum speed of 70mph.

It was a lovely warm and sunny afternoon. We arrived in plenty of time so we sat in the car and talked about "us". We had a wonderful time on the karting track competing in two races. J really enjoyed the experience and while it's not the sort of thing we would want to do every week, we did agree that we would do it again.

On the way back we stopped for a meal and continued talking. It was really enjoyable driving around outer London on a sunny evening after most of the traffic had died down. Eventually I dropped her off at her flat. We kissed and hugged, and she looked so happy!

The next day we met briefly in central London. I walked with her from the office to one of her favourite shoe shops on New Bond Street. She asked if I wanted to enter the shop with her, and when I agreed, she gave an enormous smile! She said most men are not interested in going shoe shopping, but now she has her favourite man in her favourite shoe shop!

We have agreed that we will "do something" together at least once a month. The favourite idea that is emerging for our next adventure is a ride in a hot air balloon. I have already told her that she can't wear high heels in a balloon and we are advised to wear Wellington boots in case we land in a muddy field!....

Sensual Massage

You may remember I wrote a post about massages a few months ago. The idea continued to intrigue me so I decided to get some first hand experience. You will appreciate that I put myself through this experience purely in the interests of bloggers the world over!

I came across a lady on the internet called "A" who offers sensual massage, either in her home or in hotel rooms. We exchanged a few e-mails and I mentioned that I have posed naked for Jackie Adshead and that I am comfortable when naked. In her reply "A" said she was pleased that I am comfortable when naked as she does not use a towel to cover parts of the body when giving a sensual massage.

I met "A" one evening near my hotel in London and soon we were in my room. We talked for a few minutes and then she suggested we got started. I undressed and lay face down on a towel she had placed on the bed to protect the sheets from the massage oil. "A" talked to me about the oils she uses and then placed her hands on my shoulders. Slowly but firmly she moved her hands over my back and arms, rubbing in the oil. After a while A moved to my feet. She massaged my feet and legs, paying a lot of attention to the backs of my knees. Gradually her hands moved higher and higher up my thighs, and massaged my buttocks.

Slowly her hands moved between my thighs. She skilfully rubbed my inner thighs and groin area without touching my genitals. At times I could feel her fingers just brush past my balls but I didn't know if that was by accident or design. By this stage my cock was getting hard with anticipation! Then, as if to remove any doubt about her intentions, she touched my balls and massaged them gently.

"A" then suggested that I turn over. She started by massaging my arms and chest, giving a lot of attention to my nipples. Her hands moved to my stomach and she carefully avoided touching my fully erect cock. She moved to my feet and slowly worked her way up my legs and then my thighs. Without any hesitation, she gently massaged my balls and my cock.

I was reminded of a post last year by Jeremy. In Jeremy's case, his masseur said "right, now to finish you off". The lady placed a towel over him and left him in peace. In my case, "A" made sure I experienced a "happy" outcome!

The whole massage took just over an hour. After I got dressed I walked with "A" from the hotel towards the nearest tube station. She suggested we went for a coffee, and we talked for nearly another hour. "A" told me that I can call her anytime to meet for a drink or a meal, with or without another massage.....

The Re-connection continues

A few evenings ago I met with J from London. It was our first meeting since our big argument some weeks back. We were both working in London but in different places, and our plan was to meet directly after work. However, unexpected events meant that J decided to go home after work and meet me later.

J called me about 7pm when I was having a shower in my hotel. We agreed that I would get something to eat and call her later so that we could meet for a drink. Knowing that J often falls asleep during the evening, I was concerned that she would not want to leave her home later. I called her about 8:30pm and got no response. I assumed she was asleep.

About 9:15pm J called me and we arranged to meet at a bar we have used a number of times. When she arrived it was clear to me that she was very tired and had made a big effort to get dressed and make the journey. We talked for an hour or so over drinks. Our conversation was about day-to-day matters and what we had each been doing over recent days. At no time did we talk about "us". We hugged as we parted but I was left with an uneasy feeling.

Later that night we exchanged a few text messages. The next day J phoned me four or five times, so I guess our relationship is gradually getting back to where it was.

An interesting week

Earlier this week, J from London and I arranged to meet. It would have been our first meeting since we argued some weeks ago. However, during the afternoon she sent a text message to say she had gone home early as she wasn't well and that I should call her when I reached my hotel. When I called J she was feeling a little better but wasn't going to come out to meet me. I told her this was only what I expected as she blows me out more often than not. I added that I could have spent the night with CN but chose to meet her instead. (I had previously told her about CN).

J suggested that I should have my evening meal and that we would talk again later. Although we never got to meet we did have a number of telephone conversations. One call lasted well over two hours. I estimate that we must have talked for nearly four hours on the phone that night. We have recovered from our big argument but clearly there is a long way to go to fully restore the relationship we used to have. J says she loves me and I have very strong feelings for her, but I cannot consider a future together without regular meetings.

I mentioned in an earlier post that CN has become very emotionally attached to me. Recently she has been asking when I will take her away for a weekend, or go on holiday together for a week. CN has told me she is looking for a partner not a part-time relationship. Being married, I cannot give her what she wants. CN is a lovely lady but I don't feel strong love for her.

I arranged to meet CN one lunch time this week to bring our relationship to an end. We met at her home. I told her that it wasn't fair on her because I don't feel strong love from my heart. That is an expression she uses often so I knew she would understand exactly what I was saying. I told her she needed to be free to meet a man who can give her what she wants. I added that she is a beautiful woman and a lovely person, and that she will meet a good man. But that man isn't me. She cried. I said I would never forget her.

Later that evening CN sent me a text saying that it had been a hard day but she was ok now. She thanked me for the wonderful times we had together and that we could try to be just friends. We might chat online or exchange e-mails but I don't think we can ever meet again.

Another Long Night with CN

A few days ago I met CN for another long night together. I booked a double room at a high quality traditional country hotel not too far from CN’s home.

I picked her up outside her home about 7:30pm and we drove to the hotel. The hotel is a converted and large country house set in its own extensive grounds. Our room was in an annex reached by a short walk through part of the gardens. The room was large with a walk-in wardrobe area and a very big bathroom with bath and separate shower.

We quickly unpacked and got naked. We were soon kissing and making love. Everything flowed easily. With some people I find that sex gets better each time, and it was certainly the case with CN. We planned to eat and have a few drinks in the hotel to save driving. However, after making love on the bed, having a bath together, and getting dressed, we realised that the hotel restaurant had closed. We drove to a local Greek restaurant where we drank wine, and ate chicken and lamb with potatoes and salad.

We returned to our hotel room where I opened another bottle of wine and we both got naked. CN had brought a number of sexy outfits with her so that I could take photographs. One of the outfits was really sexy. Her black nipples protruded through the string material and it was so short that her pussy was visible. That particular photo shoot soon turned into more love making. The fun continued until 3:30am when we decided it was time to get some sleep.

Barely three hours later we woke up. Kissing and cuddling inevitably led to yet more sex. Just before 8am we decided that we needed to shower and dress for breakfast. Being a traditional country hotel, there was a wide choice of cold meats, fruit, and cereals, as well as cooked English breakfast. It was a nice combination of self service and waitress table service. The dining room overlooked part of the garden and the sun was shining. It was a very romantic and gentle way to start the day.

Check out time was 11am so on return to the room we undressed again and got back into bed for yet more sex. I find CN’s dark brown body very attractive and irresistible. CN says she can’t get enough of me and loves every minute of sex between us. I dropped her back to her home about 11:30am. During that long night I estimate we had about 9 hours of sex. Almost every muscle in my body aches today!

Reflecting on CN

Since our meeting last week, CN has made it clear that she wants us to meet more frequently than I can manage, and she has raised the question of what will happen when I stop work in about 18 months time! It would appear that she has become very emotionally attached.

CN told me that she is looking for a full time partner. I might have considered making such a commitment to J from London, but I don't feel that strongly about CN (although I do like her very much).

I have arranged to spend another night with CN in about two weeks, but I am wondering if it is such a good idea. I don't want to hurt her.

A Long Night with CN

I met CN last week and, as predicted, it turned into a very sexy session. CN is a very attractive, tall and slim African single mother of three, in her early 40s. Follow this link to my previous post.
CN asked me to pick her up outside her home about 4pm and take her straight to my hotel room which only took a few minutes by car. Once inside my room I made us coffee and she unpacked her overnight bag. Knowing I wanted to take more photographs of her, CN had brought a number of outfits which she hung up in the wardrobe. We talked as we drank our coffees and sat on the bed. Soon we were kissing.

Knowing that we had all night, neither of us was in a hurry. We both enjoy kissing very much and the prolonged kissing got us both aroused. Slowly but surely, our clothes came off until we were just in our underwear. During our previous meeting we had talked about massaging each other, and this time CN had brought a small bottle of massage oil. She laid face down on the bed and I removed her bra before massaging her back with the oil. CN is from Africa and her dark brown skin looked wonderful when covered in the oil. As well as her back, I massaged her arms and her legs. My fingers did slip inside her panties to massage her buttocks but I resisted touching her pussy at this stage. Then she turned over and I applied the oil to her naked breasts. Her black nipples were already erect.

Then CN told me to lie on my front while she massaged by back. She seemed to sense where my back was tense and rubbed very hard on those spots. The sensation was wonderful and it was only the sexual arousal that stopped me from falling asleep. When I turned over she massaged my feet, legs and chest, but avoided my genital area even though my arousal was clearly visible through my pants.

It wasn’t long before we were both naked. We held each other tightly, our arms and legs entwined around each other, while we resumed kissing – now more passionately than before. Inevitably our hands started exploring. I caressed her breasts while kissing and sucking her nipples. Her fingers stroked my head and body.

Gradually, my mouth moved down CN’s body. She has absolutely no body hair and soon I was kissing her pubic mound. She parted her legs and I used my fingers to gently explore her pussy. I could see that her skin was just flat where her clit should have been. I just carried on touching and kissing her pussy without giving it a great deal of thought. Later, CN told me that she had been circumcised at the age of 11. It was common practice in her country at that time (just over 30 years ago). I can understand why this practice is often referred to as female genital mutilation. (Type I or type II in her case). I expressed my concern that she was missing out on considerable pleasure but CN said she had never known it any other way.

We continued kissing and touching each other and soon I was inside her. CN is the first black woman I have had sex with. I always enjoy seeing my cock slipping inside a woman, but the sight of my white skin slipping inside her black body was amazing. As we fucked, CN showed all the signs of reaching orgasm and assured me that she had reached a climax.

Now it was early evening and we took a shower together. I took some photos of CN. She looked simply stunning in a white towel, and I took more photos of her I the various outfits she had brought with her. CN wore no underwear while I took the photos. I promised not to show anything private in the photos, but she obviously enjoyed teasing me by occasionally lifting her skirt or opening her legs.

At about 8:30pm we were both hungry so we got dressed and drove to a local pub that serves food late in the evening. We sat by an open fire and shared a bottle of wine while eating. Knowing that CN enjoys drinking wine I had bought a bottle earlier in the day which I had left at the hotel.

When we returned to the hotel room I opened the other bottle of wine, and we were soon naked again and in bed. We drank, talked, laughed, kissed, touched and fucked again. At one stage CN asked if she could feed me. Knowing there was no food in the room I didn’t quite understand but I happily agreed. Without me noticing, she must have filled her mouth with wine. She lay on me and as we kissed, she slowly allowed the wine to leave her mouth and enter mine. I swallowed as we kissed. It was a highly sensual experience. It was about 2am when we decided to turn out the lights and get some sleep.

We woke about 6:30am and the kissing started immediately. My mouth moved over her whole body and eventually I started licking her pussy. I wanted to give her pleasure. My tongue dipped in and out of her, and I licked and gently sucked along her inner lips. When I started licking at the place where her clit should have been, CN gripped my head with her thighs and hands making it very clear that she wanted more. I continued licking and gradually I sensed her body moving while she moaned with pleasure. I continued licking until she reached her climax. It seems that CN has sufficient clitoral nerve endings under her skin for her to reach orgasm. She had also left a large damp patch on the bed sheet! It wasn’t long before CN was on top of me and I was inside her again. Her dark brown beautiful skin felt incredibly warm and she joked that if my cock was longer I would feel the fire inside her. The sexy fun continued for a while further. We had another shower together and got dressed just in time to get breakfast before they stopped serving at 9:30am.

After a leisurely breakfast we packed our bags and I drove CN back to her home. I left her about 11am. We both said how much we had enjoyed those 19 hours together. I am sure we will meet again soon.

A Week Away

I am back at work today after a week away with my wife. The weather was sunny and I return feeling very relaxed.

During the week I exchanged a number of text messages with CN. We are meeting again later this week and if the content of the text messages are any guide, it promises to be a very sexy session!

Despite the huge argument with J from London, she sent me a text message on the morning of Valentine's Day. She said "Good morning dear you. Guess who's my valentine this year? xx".

Unpredictable Dating

I had two dates this week. They turned out to be quite different from what I might have predicted.

On Tuesday evening I met CN in north London. We had only chatted for a few days on the internet and decided to meet. CN is an attractive single mother from Africa who has been living in Europe, and now in England for just less than 3 years. We agreed a place to meet and she suggested that we went to local restaurant where she knew we would be able to talk. We had previously established a mutual interest in good food and wine.

During the meal it was quite clear that the chemistry between us was working well. We were soon laughing and touching hands. At the end of the meal I moved to sit next to her. We continued talking while drinking the remainder of the wine, and my hand was soon resting on her thigh. Quite often she would entangle her fingers in mine, on her leg.

At the end of the meal we went to my hotel room where we had more wine. I took some photographs of her which we processed on my laptop computer. CN mentioned that she gets backache and she released the top of her skirt so that I could massage her lower back, and she seemed very pleased when I also placed my hand on her exposed stomach. We got closer and closer, and soon we were kissing. She held me so tightly that I nearly lost my balance at one point! CN made it clear that we were not going to have sex that night, but that she did want to meet me again very soon. We have already set a date to meet again in about two weeks.

On Wednesday evening I had a second date with a lady I first met just before Christmas. Our first meeting was in a country pub where we had a slow lunch. As we left the pub and walked to the car park, she took my hand and made it quite clear that she wanted to be kissed. Of course I obliged!

But on Wednesday she seemed a little distant. We had a drink at the bar before moving into the restaurant. Conversation flowed easily. But at the end of the evening, she refused to let me kiss her. I doubt that we will meet again.

It just shows that it never pays to make any assumptions about the outcome of a date. It's all too unpredictable!

Massages

For many years I have known a lady that provides massage services. There is nothing seedy about this. She has recognised qualifications and is very professional. Although we know each other we meet very rarely.

About two years ago I noticed she was offering free sample sessions of Indian Head massage and shoulder massage (fully clothed). Thinking there was nothing to lose, I took her up on the offer. I found the session very relaxing and I paid her for additional sessions about every two weeks.

Recently I came across an article about Chakra Balancing. This was interesting as I had recently had a long online conversation with someone about the importance of energy in relationships. I decided to search the internet for more information.

While browsing the internet on this subject I came across a website that gives a huge amount of information. The article talks about Tantric massage and describes a procedure. At the end of the article it refers to Lingam (penis) massage and Yoni (vagina) massage. Some beautiful yoni images can be found here.

Following some more links I reached a page about Jahnet Delight. She says:

"I have worked in the sensosexual industry for many years and have developed a way of teaching sexuality and lovemaking techniques in a very erotic and special way using ancient and modern methods. We have a teacher for just about everything, yet no one gives any lovers training and like driving where you need to be in the car and it needs to be turned on.... with sex you need to be in the bed and you need to be turned on!"

Having read these items I just wonder how genuine is all this. So, I ask the readers of this blog two questions:

• Have you any personal experience of massages of this nature?
• Do you think such massages are genuine therapies or is it just a cover for sexual services?

Please add your comments.

Slowly Re-connecting

After a week without speaking and only a few text exchanges, I decided this morning to telephone J from London. We were able to talk for only a few minutes. I made it clear that I wanted to ask how she is, explain a few things, and not argue with her.

J told me that she feels hurt and deeply sad about what happened between us last week. She hasn't been out socially. All she does is work. She chose to spend all last weekend working. Her family have commented on how unhappy she is. J asked if I am still angry with her.

She added that I am the first person she has met in her whole life that offers her everything she could ever want in a man.

I said that the events of last week hurt me very much, and I know that sooner or later something similar will happen again and the pain will be unbearable.

But I am pleased that we are slowly re-connecting.

Things will never be the same again

Earlier this week J from London and I had a huge row. It involved a number of matters which all became connected. I forced the issue and she responded in ways which I found unacceptable. I'm not going into detail as it is inevitable I will give you only my side of the story, and I am prepared to admit that I may have made a mistake. Also, I wish her no harm. One of the things that J did upset me very much. I told her that I would always love her and never forget her, but it was clear that we do not have a long term future. I didn't say that through anger. The situation gave me a glimpse of a possible future and I didn't like what I saw. We both said and received words that hurt, probably because we know each other's vulnerabilities as well as best features. We are both strong-willed, passionate and proud people, so the exchange became very heated.

For about two days there was a frosty silence between us. But last night I sent her a "truce" text. I said that things will never be the same again, but that I would like us to be friends and reconnect at some level. A few hours later, J replied saying that our friendship has never been in doubt.

I'm so sad that this has happened, and I would have been devastated if our friendship had been destroyed. But I feel this episode has showed that while we may still have strong feelings for each other, it would never have worked in the longer term. We are both a little wiser as a result.

Personality Horoscope

In my previous post I mentioned that an internet friend had found a website that will produce a horoscope based on date, time and place of birth. Mine is very accurate. It is reproduced below. The green text shows the aspects that are true, and the red text shows the aspects that are untrue. I have never believed in horoscopes but this is quite remarkable.

Birth chart interpretation - Generated by Starbud 2.0b

Sun 08° 52' Capricorn

Moon 11° 27' Capricorn

Mercury 19° 09' Capricorn

Venus 12° 51' Sagittarius

Mars 25° 60' Capricorn

Jupiter 10° 04' Capricorn

Saturn 06° 03' Virgo

Uranus 28° 05' Gemini

Neptune 15° 06' Libra

Pluto 16° 09' Leo

Ascendant 23° 49' Gemini

Midheaven 18° 10' Aquarius

General personality

Born under the sign of Capricorn, you are realistic in your goals and objectives. You know how to mobilize your skills to achieve the greatest results with the least amount of effort. You are sure-footed and negotiate every obstacle with care, but with a lively step. On the whole you have very good powers of concentration, and are very loyal to people that are close to you. You have a considerable sense of pride, and your inherent ambition will encourage you to aspire to move up the social scale. You like to impress people! Sometimes a negative, hopeless attitude can make its presence felt, and and you need the support of others to overcome this tendency. You need to become more detached and learn to let go when matters are out of your hands.
Life is never the least bit dull when Gemini is in the rising position because this sign produces a personality that is so witty and clever. Unfortunately, the nature is also anxious, high-strung and diffusive. With this lively sign on the rise, you need constant mental stimulation. This is because you cannot stand the thought of being bored, not even for a minute. You want to keep yourself surrounded with people, activities, and exciting situations. You are happiest when you are very busy and fully engaged in a variety of activities. Gemini is a mental or air sign, and you are by nature very active mentally. You identify with ideas and consider yourself essentially a mental person. You are friendly and adaptable, but at times you can be temperamental and a little indecisive. Although you appear confident, inner assurance is not a natural trait. Your disposition is good when you can manage to stay calm and serene. You are a wonderful conversationalist, and many natives of this sign become writers, reporters or active in some phase of communication. Mercury is the ruling planet of your horoscope since Mercury is the planetary ruler of Gemini. Like the metallic chemical mercury, you are slippery and quick, extremely hard to pin down. Gemini is clever. You can outtalk, outthink and outsmart most people you meet. Physically, you are agile and well coordinated. Nervous activity keeps you slender. Your enthusiasm for change is a trait that makes you perpetually young and progressive of mind, even as you grow older. The symbol for Gemini is the twins, and this symbol depicts a duality in your nature. There is a tendency to be somewhat fickle. You can handle more than one job at a time. You tend to dart from one topic to another, from one task to the next, in and out of relationships. You are a collector of trivia and random information. With a Gemini Ascendant, you may indeed be a walking encyclopedia.
Emotionally you are reserved and cautious. This might lead to loneliness at times, since you have some difficulty in projecting warmth and tenderness. You are serious and more concerned with achieving goals and objectives than many others, and you want to be recognized as a capable and independent individual. This is not a bad trait, but try not to look down your nose at other people's suggestions. You are instinctively apprehensive of new ideas, and have a tendency to grumble about minor things that goes unexpectedly wrong. One of your major problems might be lack of self-confidence. Try to look at life with optimism.
Your drive and physical energy is always carefully managed, and your actions well controlled. You know how to conserve your resources, and cope better than most people with difficult conditions. Your temperament is usually patient, although you are very determined to rise to the top. Demanding exercise can be important to your physical well-being.
A conjunction between the Sun and Moon suggests a joining of your emotional urges and your natural drive instincts. The temperament becomes more unilateral, unaffected by the wants and desires of others. You are satisfied with yourself and the goals you hope to realize. You won't adapt easily to changes in your life, unless you sense these changes are in your best interest. You stay clear of the business of others and expect the same from them. You are highly motivated to achieve your agenda, focusing well on objectives, and normally gaining successful results. Even if you don't succeed in the eyes of others, you are self-satisfied with your accomplishments.
A conjunction of the Sun and Jupiter shows that you rarely do anything in moderation. You have an undying faith in yourself and believe that you can do anything to which you set your mind. Your enthusiasm and confidence level runs high, and sometimes you promise more than you can deliver. Even when major setbacks occur, you hang in there. You're never one to let anything get you down or keep you from charging off on another venture. You have confidence that affairs will eventually work out. Character is all important to you. An extremely high sense of justice and concern for others is apparent in your makeup, even if this doesn't show up in other parts of your chart.
A positive aspect formed between the Sun and Saturn makes it easy for you to accept and handle responsibility. Difficult times in your life result in minimal struggle. You inherently know how to react to problems and take advantage of counteracting opportunities. You may have ambitions, but these are not very strong. Most of the time you attain success by doing what is right, when the time is right. Somehow you bring a sense of stability to every situation. Life is not always a basket of roses, and sometimes you get depressed and deflated. Yet you can always get reorganized and back on the right track.
The conjunction of the Moon and Jupiter shows a deep sensitivity to your environment, which you truly want to understand as fully as possible. The aspect confers sympathy and generosity. Often individuals having this combination find jobs working with the underprivileged, in rehabilitation programs, or a similar type of occupation. Your honest concern for others brings you the trust and cooperation of most of those with whom you come in contact. You are a giving person and you find success because of this. Beware of over-extending your physical energies.

Mentality & communication

You have a mind that thrives on problems, and the ability to calculate all situations in a very clever and careful way. It is also possible that you have a flair for numbers. Being practical and efficient, much of your thought will be given to progress and the attainment of objectives. Look out for a tendency to underestimate your own and others' achievements, though. You don't like to be pushed to render decisions until you are ready because you want to avoid making mistakes. Your serious way of thinking can make you appear a little dry and boring. Taking yourself too seriously can also cause problems for you now and then.

Love, marriage & social relations

You have a lively way of expressing love, although maybe somewhat boisterous. You need a partner with an intellectual level matching yours, and you won't tolerate boredom in a relationship. You are drawn to people who are eager to grow in character and who demonstrate by their actions that life is meaningful to them. Try to make sure that your partner does not suffer because of your restlessness and need for constant renewal. On the social level you have a light and breezy manner, and should find it easy to cultivate warm, friendly associations because of your compromising nature.
A positive aspect formed between Venus and Neptune denotes a highly romantic nature. Artistic talent is very often present, but the will to express this talent may be slow to appear. The ability to handle practical affairs must depend on other factors in the chart. You are apt to have unusual romances or meet your partner under such strange circumstances that you may feel that it may even have been predestined. You are kind and sympathetic toward those in need, but your way of giving help may be impractical. You're too tolerant of people, but you don't think so. You are an idealist likely to have deep spiritual beliefs.
A positive aspect formed between Venus and Pluto shows an intense romance nature. You are one of those people who very well may fall in love at first sight. You are a romantic, but in a positive and well directed way. You are not one to scatter or waste your affections. You are apt to possess extremely high moral and spiritual standards. Your basic integrity is solidly founded and unshakable.

Career & ambition

The Aquarius influence in the tenth house denotes original and inventive approach to the career and life work. Uranus, the ruler of Aquarius, is the planet of change, freedom, humanity, and rebellion. You may have new and ingenious ideas to present to the public. You are a team player and function well as a part of the team. Your goals are likely to be stated in advance, and your aim will be accomplishments producing publicly useful results. The tenth house Aquarius personality is inclined to a public life. You may be involved in many humanitarian ventures if you are in touch with that part of your nature. Yet, you are likely to feel a real sense of reluctance to the "glare and scare" connected with public recognition. There is a natural reluctance in your personality to risk-taking in the career. This must be overcome to achieve true success and measure up to your potential. You must be willing to take chances. No matter what career you finally choose, your special inventive quality will be stamped on the end product.

Other traits

You have considerable ambition, and your need for challenge is strong. This will most probably be directed towards the career or improvement in lifestyle. You know how to be methodical, and your ability to calculate every move will be an asset, enabling you to achieve your objectives. You also know your own abilities and limitations, so you never lose control of your affairs. Your outlook is somewhat serious, but an off-beat sense of humour helps to soften your sometimes pessimistic views.
Most likely you have a serious attitude towards life, and a tendency to worry; there is also the possibility that you are too pessimistic. But you are extremely practical, and will take a clinical approach to the shaping of your life and ambitions. It may well be that you always underestimate yourself, and self-confidence is not your strongest point; it should be slowly and carefully developed. You have plenty of common sense, but can be a little too conservative now and then.

Text © Michael McClain and Kai Nicolai Priddy 2005

http://abacusastrology.co.uk/

A New Year

I know it's been ages since I last posted, but it is very easy to get out of the habit. I must try to do better!!

J from London returned from her trip earlier this month. We did manage to keep in contact most of the time she was away despite the inadequacies of the telephone network in that country. We have both been very busy with work and have only managed to meet once since her return.

I've also taken a major decision and set my retirement date. It is still 18 months away but there are particular reasons why I have to make the decision that far ahead. Making the decision has been very liberating. It has changed my attitude to work. I speak my mind and no longer put up with shit from other people. Let's face it - what's the worst they can do to me? :-)

Quite by coincidence, a good internet friend of mine told me about a web site that does a horoscope of your personality based on date, time and place of birth. I have never believed in this stuff, but the result is remarkably accurate. I may well publish the results in my next post and highlight the aspects that are accurate and not so accurate. Just out of curiosity, I obtained the results for J, and also did a compatibility check. Again, the results in both cases were remarkably accurate.

Actions or Words?

As a general rule, women think about how they feel, but men think about what they do. Most of us subscribe to the expression "Actions speak louder than words", but I suspect it was a man that first said it. I had an experience this week that shows the danger of taking that expression at face value.

In my previous post I said that J from London and I were going on the same training course one day this week. I don't think I mentioned that this coming weekend she is going back to her country of origin, returning at the start of January. It is her first visit for about 10 years and she is really looking forward to it. I knew that the training course would probably be our last meeting before she goes away.

Over the weekend I had developed a cough and cold, and it was clear that J had the same thing. However, she seemed to be a lot worse than me. We weren't able to talk much during the course as it consisted of practical team work. After the course we went to the nearest branch of Starbucks and stayed there for a couple of hours. I showed her some of the photographs I took during our day out, and J told me that our day out will always count as one of the most special days in her life. Once again we talked about the possibility of being together in the future.

We left Starbucks and walked to the nearest tube station. We caught the same train and stood together as the train was quite crowded. As we approached her stop she looked at me and said "You are not going to kiss me". I responded by kissing her forehead and she just walked away from me without our usual hugs. Knowing that this would be our last moments together for a few weeks, I was very upset. All the lovely words we had said and sent by text over the previous days just seemed to evaporate in her actions in those few moments.

The next day I raised the incident with J and told her how much it had upset me. That her action had brought back all the uncertainties that had led me to abandon any idea of us getting together. J was totally horrified! She explained that the reason she had told me not to kiss her was that under no circumstances did she want me to catch her cold. Also, she was feeling very ill and tired, and simply wanted to get home. She had not realised that we wouldn't be meeting again before she goes away. Forward thinking has never been J's strong point - she often says that I provide the brains in our partnership. She apologised for her lack of thought and insisted that her behaviour was no reflection on me.

Sometimes words do speak louder than actions!

Progress with J from London

I spent quite a bit of time with J from London last week. Last Thursday we both agreed to take a day off work and have a day out together. We talked on the phone the previous night for over two hours, in order to agree the arrangements for the following day, and inevitably we talked about how we felt about each other.

On Thursday we met mid morning and went to a large park area in London. It was a lovely cold sunny winter day. We walked, talked and laughed. After a couple of hours we went to a small restaurant for lunch. During lunch J asked me how I felt about the decision I took a few months ago to stop actively planning a future together (because at that time I wasn't convinced it was what she really wanted. A fuller account can be found here). I told her that I still love her deeply and that I would really like us to have a future together. J intimated that she felt the same way. After lunch we had a walk around the local market, and when it got cold and dark. we made our separate ways home. We talked at length again on the phone that night.

The next day (Friday) J and I attended a conference. We agreed to meet at a railway station and catch the same train into London so that we could arrive early enough to go for a coffee before the conference. With about 250 conference participants, it was difficult for us to spend a lot of time together. However, we did manage to talk privately at the end of the day. J asked me about the state of my marriage. I told her that while things had improved slightly at the time I told my wife I was not leaving her (see this post), we seem to be drifting apart again. J repeated what she has said many times previously that she does not want to do or say anything to damage my marriage. However, J did admit that if my marriage is failing then she wants the same as me, as long as I don't walk away from my marriage just because of her. That night J sent me a text message saying that I am very special to her.

J and I exchanged many text messages over the weekend. In one text, J said that I should always remember how much love she has for me. In another text, I told J how big my love is for her, and she simply replied "humongous"!

We will be together for a training course one day this week.......

One year....

Last Friday it was exactly one year to the day since I first met J from London. We agreed to meet in central London late in the afternoon to celebrate. We went to a quiet bar for a drink and just to be in each other's company. I had bought her a card, but J wouldn't accept it as she had not had a chance to buy one for me, and said we can exchange cards next time we meet. We sat in the bar for about three hours.

During the conversation J asked me what had been the highlights and the low points of our relationship during the last 12 months. That led us to talking about where we have been, what we have said, and how we feel about each other. J told me that she won't let any other man into her life at the moment. She also said how much she values my text messages and telephone calls. One of the highlights is that we have maintained contact almost every single day, and we never run out of conversation. I explained that while I have stopped actively planning for us to have a future together, I love her lots and that it is still possible that we may get together at some point in our lives.

When we left the bar I walked with her to the nearest tube station. We hugged and said goodbye. J told me not to look at her. She has never said that before and I wondered why. Then I noticed just the first sign of a tear forming in one of her eyes.....

Around a night with R

Two weeks ago I had arranged with R to spend a night at her apartment in West London. Earlier that week I was talking with J on the phone and I told her about my plans. I often say to her that when I am away from home she can text or call me any time of day or night, but she always says she doesn't want to disturb me at night.

On the evening concerned, I travelled to R's apartment. I had a quick shower at her place and changed, and we went out for a meal and a few drinks. When we got back to her apartment we were soon in bed and having sex. During the night I was woken at just after 3am by a text message from J!

The following morning R was very tired. She stayed in bed while I started to get ready for work. I was partly dressed after taking a shower when she called me, pulled back the bed covers and invited me back in to say "goodbye". Needless to say I was two hours late getting to work that day!

The following day I happened to be working in the same office where J was attending a course. We met up late in the afternoon. We only had a few minutes together and we walked to the nearest tube station. After we parted, we exchanged some lovely text messages. Clearly there is still something very strong and extraordinary between us.

J's Reaction

I was away on holiday last week, but J and I stayed in contact by text. We always try to make contact at the start and end of each day, even if we are too busy to text much during the day. J told me that she holds her phone inside the bed at night in order to send "goodnight" and "good morning" messages to me. I also exchanged a few texts with R from London. Although she speaks good English she does find it difficult to write text messages.

Today J and I were at a conference and I gave her a lift home. We haven't seen each other for a few weeks so we had quite a lot of catching up to do. Eventually the conversation worked around to who I had met on two nights in London a couple of weeks ago. I told J about R and that we had enjoyed sex during our second meeting. Based on things J has told me in the past, I knew she would not be upset. How could she be? I told her that I am spending this Thursday night with R, probably at her flat in West London.

I have always been totally open and honest with J about my marriage, other women, how I feel about her, and the reasons why I am not convinced she wants to be with me longer term. I know J really values my honesty and she tells me that she talks more to me than anyone else in her life (apart from her mother).

Later this evening I sent J a text saying how much I enjoyed being with her today, and asking her to understand that my fun with R does not change the way I feel about her. She immediately phoned me to say that it was a lovely message. I told J that I want to have a "serious" conversation with her. She thought she had done something to upset me, but I assured her there was nothing wrong. J offered to meet me for lunch on Friday but I have left that open at the moment.

I spoke to R on the phone this evening. She confirmed our date for Thursday and offered that I can stay the night with her.

My Week in London

I've had an interesting week! In my previous post I mentioned that I had 3 dinner dates lined up. The date on Monday was with a new lady - R from West London. The date for Tuesday was MS who I last met back in March - see this post. The date for Wednesday was actually outside London with another new lady - JB from Warwickshire.

The week did not go exactly as planned, but was still very good.

Monday evening I met R from West London. I had seen her photo and I knew she was attractive, but when I met her she was simply stunning - a very well dressed and attractive foreign lady. We hugged and kissed and walked to a nearby restaurant. The conversation flowed easily as did the wine. After the meal I suggested we could have a drink in the bar of my hotel which was only a short walk away. We held hands as we walked and we seemed to be getting along really well.

We sat in the hotel bar with our drinks. R sat near to me but at a slight angle so that our knees were touching. It wasn't long before my hand was resting on her knee, and my fingers started to stroke her inner thigh just above the knee. I told R about my experiences of posing naked for Jackie Adshead (the erotic artist) and quite soon she agreed to come to my hotel room to see the images on my laptop computer.

In my room we had more to drink from the minibar and I turned on my laptop. We sat on the end of the bed talking about each of the erotic images. R seemed to be particularly interested in the images of me alone and naked, but maybe that was just wishful thinking on my part!

I made a few attempts to kiss R but each time she said no, although I suspected she was just taking things at her own pace. After a while R said it was time for her to go home and would I walk her to her car. As we stood up, I touched her face and we started kissing. I could feel her responding. Her arms moved around me and our kisses became more passionate. Our bodies were touching, however, it was clear that nothing else was going to happen that night. As we left my room I asked if she would like to meet again the following evening. She agreed and said that she would like to show me her flat which is next to the river Thames in West London.

The following morning I contacted MS and explained that we would not be able to meet. MS was fine about it and hoped that we can meet again soon.

Tuesday evening I travelled to R's flat. She met me at the street entrance and took me to a very smart restaurant just a few yards from her flat. We had a lovely meal with wine, and once again the conversation flowed easily. I had brought a bottle of wine which she put in her bag and said we could open it when we got back to her place.

We returned to R's flat after the meal. I could see why she is very proud of where she lives. It is a very modern development next to the Thames, with wonderful views of the river from her windows. We sat on a settee and I opened the wine. We talked and she showed me a book of erotic images, some of which were highly explicit. You can guess the content of our conversation. Soon we were kissing and my hand was stroking her back. She asked me to stroke her back and to use my fingernails to gently scratch her back. I slipped my hand inside her top and as I touched her back she closed her eyes.

After a few minutes R asked me if she could remove her top so that I could touch and massage her back. I did as she asked, and it wasn't long before I removed her bra. After more kissing and touching, R suggested we move to her bedroom so that we could massage each other.

She went to the bathroom and I waited patiently in her bedroom. A few minutes later she came back to the bedroom wearing only a very short nightdress. I removed most of my clothes and joined her in bed wearing only my underpants. She laid on her front and asked me to massage her back. Soon her tiny nightdress was only covering her ass. I turned her over and kissed her lips and worked my mouth around her lovely body. Her nipples were highly aroused (and so was I). Very slowly I moved my mouth towards her pussy which was clearly very moist. I slipped a finger inside her while my tongue explored her lips and clit. She held my head and moved her body, quite clearly directing me to the right places. I continued to lick, kiss and sometimes suck, and she was obviously enjoying the experience. Later she told me that she had cum a few times.

R then took control of me. She removed my underpants and took my cock into her mouth. After a while, she asked me to lie on my back. She kissed the length of my body, gradually reaching my cock again which she held in her hand while licking and sucking. Then she sat up and thrust my cock deep inside her. She rode me very hard and long. Sometimes she sat up. Sometimes she lay on me so that we could kiss. The fucking lasted for some time. Later we changed positions and I fucked her doggy style.

Realising that I had not yet cum, R decided to focus on my pleasure. She lay back on the bed and got me to sit across her so that my cock rested on her face. She took me into her mouth and gently used her teeth against me. Soon I was at the point of no return and shot my cum into her mouth. She smiled and said I tasted sweet - the sweet we didn't eat at the restaurant!

We continued to kiss, holding each other and touching. After a while R asked me if I ever sleep! She was very tired. We slept for a short while and she said I was welcome to stay the night. However, after a short sleep I decided that it would be better if I returned to my hotel room as I would not have enough time in the morning to go to my hotel, change and reach the office on time. R called a local taxi firm and I travelled back to my hotel in the early hours of Wednesday morning.

The following morning I received a text from JB. She was most apologetic and said that she would be unable to meet me that evening. We agreed to postpone our date until November. In a way I was quite pleased as my adventures with R had left me feeling quite tired!

Later on Wednesday morning J from London called me (we try to talk every day if we can). She knew I had deliberately stayed in a hotel away from her home in order to meet someone else, but she didn't know the details. When I mentioned that I had met the same person on both evenings and didn't get back to my hotel until the early hours, she was most intrigued. I said I might tell her the whole story next time we meet. At the end of our telephone conversation J said "Love you lots", and since then she has sent far more texts than normal, and phoned me two or three times each day. She always tries to get much closer to me when she suspects I have met another woman. I will next meet J later this month. It will be interesting to see what she asks me!

Back in Action

I have three dates in London next week. They are just dinner dates with no promise of anything more, but who knows?

I'll keep you posted.....

A Secret Admirer

I have just been browsing around some blogs and I came across one where the female blogger had given her answers to a set of questions. The last three questions and answers were:

Who did you copy this from?
A blog I found on HornymaleUK's blog.

How do you know them?
Through hornymaleUK - who I met through blogging. We've been talking over the internet for over a year.

Would you have sex with them?
With hornymaleUK - probably!

It seems I have a secret admirer who would like to have sex with me!

I am still here!

I know it's been ages since I last blogged. I thank those of you that have kept in touch and made sure that I am ok.

The last few weeks have been very challenging. I have been very very busy at work, sometimes staying away from home and not always being able to get an internet connection. I've been on holiday and had some weekends away as well. Also, my wife sensed that I was becoming more and more distant from her. She knows just a little about J from London and guessed that I was thinking of leaving our marriage.

Some weeks ago J and I resolved the issues that I had raised with her, and we seemed to be getting back on track. I even gave J a birthday present which she really loved. But when things came to a head with my wife, I knew I couldn't sustain the situation for very long. My wife was living on her nerves, J was very supportive but wouldn't give any commitment, and I was feeling torn.

For two days I stopped all communication with J so that I could think things through. I came to the conclusion that J does not really want to be with me longer term. Of course I will probably never know if I am correct to think that. J and I met and I told her the conclusion I had come to, and that I planned to stay with my wife. Both of us were upset for a few days. That night J sent me a text saying "life will be unbearable without you". I explained that giving up my hopes and dreams hurt me very much, but that I will probably always have deep love for her.

We will continue to be wonderful friends. We still talk most days; we plan to meet from time to time; and we continue to text and e-mail. Recently J asked me if anything has actually changed? I explained that what is in my head has changed. I am no longer constantly working towards us having a future together. I actually feel liberated. I was always truthful with J but there were times where I might select my words carefully. Now I just say and do whatever comes naturally. J says she likes the "new" me even more!

In some ways J and I have got even closer, but she now recognises that there will come a day when we will no longer be part of each other's lives.......

Who said being erotic is easy?

You may have already seen the post by Jackie Adshead about my latest erotic art experience.

Jackie had arranged another session for me to pose naked with her favourite female model. When we arrived, Jackie had already formed an idea for the pose. After some experimentation we got undressed and took up our positions.

If you look carefully at our bodies, it is quite obvious that nothing is actually happening between us. Jackie pointed out that it is left to the viewer to think about what might happen next, or maybe what has already happened!

Jackie's title of "Overcome" could have been "Come over"....

I was kneeling and supporting most of my weight on my left arm (which is out of sight). It is amazing how a pose that feels comfortable initially soon makes muscles ache, and I could feel the pressure on my left arm and wrist. The female model could feel the tension building in her back.

After about an hour, both of us needed a short break. I wandered over and stood next to Jackie to look at the emerging image. It was clear to me that there was still a lot of work to do. I had thought we would be taking up a fresh pose for another image, but she explained that this style of drawing takes a long time and that we would be doing only one image during this session.

On her blog, Jackie raises the question of how this image compares with our previous sessions. My descriptions of those sessions can be found here and here.

Yesterday, I showed this image to J from London. She liked the image and was interested in how we posed and produced it, but she feels it lacks passion. I wonder if there is something to learn from that observation?

A Decision about J

This will be a short post. It is too painful for me to write at length and I'm not giving any details as it is far too personal.

Over the last few days J and I have had some very challenging conversations, initially face to face and today on the telephone. The result is that I have come to the conclusion that J and I will never get together.

I would have much preferred that we had that decisive conversation face to face, but the heavy rain and floods meant that we couldn't meet today and maybe not any time this week. It meant talking about it over the telephone. J listened to what I said. Later she called me two or three times to check that I was ok. She said that we have not been good for each other today and that maybe we misunderstood things that were said. Although I have made the decision, I haven't fully accepted it yet.

The next few days will be interesting. The last time I went cool, J came on stronger. But it will take a lot to make me go back on this decision.

Events......

I know I've not blogged for a while. I've done a lot of travelling with work, and either got home too late to blog, had evening commitments, or been staying in hotels that don't have internet connections.

This is a photo of Mike and Oluchi Hill. You may have seen them in the news over the last few days. I'll explain later how Mike Hill impacted on my life!

Let me bring you up to date with J from London.

During the week before last J and I were staying in different hotels in the same town. We spent the evening together and she asked if I would help her with some work she is doing. J suggested that I could stay the night with her if it got late as there were two beds in her hotel room. I knew there would be no sex as we have discussed that aspect many times before. To cut a long story short, we did spend an evening and a night together in her room. We spent some time sleeping on the same bed, but also slept apart. No sex, and no nudity (apart from a few moments when I was naked but with my back to her). It was certainly a good way to see each other over a longer period of time. J always dresses well and likes to wear make-up. It was lovely to see her straight out of the shower in just a towel with no make-up. She looked gorgeous and I told her so.

One day last week we spent about 4 hours together. We got back to talking about a possible future together even though only two weeks earlier we had come to the conclusion it would probably never happen. It seems that we just can't let go of the idea. She said she loves me to bits, but it's my decision. J knows it is very hard for me.

I tried to fix a date for us to go away, however J has had second thoughts. She wants to spend quality time with me, but she is uncomfortable with going away to a hotel together. She says that if we end up staying in the same room because of work, then it's ok, but she feels uncomfortable about deliberately going away together as she thinks she will be responsible for damaging my marriage. I do understand her reasoning but the end result would be the same.

Over the weekend J and I exchanged many many text messages. Once again she mentioned her mother's objection to my age. This leads us to Mike and Oluchi Hill (pictured above). You may have seen the news item about their 3 year old daughter who was kidnapped in Nigeria last week (she was recovered today unharmed). None of the reports gave the age of her mother (Oluchi) but some of the reports mentioned that her father (Mike) is in his 60s. Given that their daughter is only 3, I sent a text to J pointing out that there must be a big age gap between them.

Apparently J's mother had also seen the news item and told J that Mike Hill is an example of an "old" man in his 60s. J passed on her mum's observation to me by text.

I replied by saying that if I end up looking as bad as that in my 60s then she has my personal permission to shoot me.

J's response was that by the time I know what I want to do with my life, I probably will look as old as that, and then it will be an easy decision for all of us!! :-))